Oh Baby......weight

I am admittedly one of those people who are either always on a diet or always on the cusp of starting a diet.  I have done weight watchers like 3 times only to never reach my goal weight and always to gain my weight right back and usually more than I started with.  It's annoying and gross.

I was actually doing WW last summer before I got pregnant.  But, I was all hopped up on artificial hormones and they were making me gain weight and WW couldn't even keep up, so I quit.  Then, I got knocked up and started eating like it was no big deal.  I only gained like 35-40 lbs while I was pregnant, so I figured it wouldn't be super hard to lose.  Well, come to find out, if you want to lose the baby weight, you have to stop eating and acting like your pregnant.  Who knew!!!

So, after 3 and a half months of being grossed out by looking at myself in the mirror and not letting my husband see my naked, I decided enough was enough.  The weight isn't going to melt off (damn breastfeeding for not working!) and I'm going to have to get off my lazy (sleep deprived) ass and do something about it.

What did I do?  I joined WW for the fourth time.  I am ususally pretty successful when I'm on it.  It holds me accountable and forces me to eat better.  I tend to be an instant gratification type of person, so it annoys me that you have to lose slowly and the healthy way (blah blah blah...just kidding).  But, it took me 9 months to put this weight off, and it could take 9 months to lose it.

For the record, I have lost about 15 or 20 of the pounds I gained.  So, it's not like I'm starting from scratch.

And, for even more accountability, I'm going to post my goals on this here blog. 

* Get back to pre-baby weight
* Lose about 35 lbs more after that is reached
* Get off my butt and earn some activity points in addition to just eating better
* Not get grossed out by the sight of myself in the mirror (this is mental just as much as the physical act of losing the weight)

All that being said, my little guy was worth each and every pound I gained.  And if I had to stay this same size just to keep him, I would.  He is so so so worth every extra lb and every stretch mark.  But, that doesn't mean that I have to stay this size just to be his momma and I don't plan to.  I hope to take that dedication I had when I was working to get pregnant and apply it to losing this dang weight!

5 for Friday

Happy Friday friends!  While most of the country is off still celebrating our independence, I'm at work.  Stupid banking.  Yes we do get rando holidays off (thanks Colombus!) but have to work the day after all of them.

Aaaaanyway, here's what's been up the past week...



1. Yesterday was (obviously) the 4th of July.  We spent it cleaning our house (me) and doing yardwork (B).  We had some friends over who have a little nugget that's 2 weeks older than H.  So, we had a teeny baby play date.  All was well until there was a moment where all hell broke lose.  The other nugget spit up all over the place, and in the hilarity of that I noticed H had pooped out of his diaper all over the place as well and I stuck my hand in it.  None of us could do anything about either because we were all laughing too darn hard.  Good stuff.

2.  B was back for the whole week!!  Woo hoo!  Monday he decided to stay home with the nugget since he had missed him so bad.  So cute!

3.  The nanny hunt continues.  One was in a suuuuuuuper sketchy neighborhood, on was much too far away.  We have another meeting today.  Fingers crossed she works out.

4.  The sun has finally come out.  I swear, here in NC it's been raining for what seems like forever!  I am sooooooo over the rain!

5.  We're headed off this weekend to spend it with some friends. 

Have a great weekend!

Favorite TV Shows

So, I kind of love TV.  Is that bad to say?  Oh, well, I do. Brandon and I have several shows that we watch together and get totally sucked into. And then there are some that I just watch on my own because they're pretty bad or meant for teenagers and he just won't participate in my ridiculousness.

Mad Men - we were late to the game on this one, but woah.  We love it.  The stories, the costumes, the historical accurateness.  It's amazing.  Although, after this season, I kind of want to punch Don Draper in the throat...

Breaking Bad - this show is intense.  But in the best way possible.  We got into it via Netflix and would stay up till all hours of the night watching because we just could. not. stop.  Also, I kind of have a crush on Jesse Pinkman.  Fun fact, after watching endless hours of this show on end, I have a tendancy to refer to every one as Bitch in a very aggressive tone a la Jesse.  Good stuff.

Parenthood - this show is amazing.  The people are so real on this show.  The past 2 seasons have had us (yes, both of us) in tears more often than not.  If you haven't checked it out yet, it's a must see!

Grey's Anatomy - this one I just can't quit.  I've stuck through all the crap (Izzie having sex with a ghost.  The musical episode) hoping that it returns to it's original glory.  That's yet to happen, but I'm no quitter...

Glee - like I said, ridiculousness.  This show has always been pure fluff, but last season it was just crap.  But, as with Grey's, I just can't quit.

Weeds - I know this one is off the air now, but I just finished it.  So, to me it's still relevant.  This one started off amazing.  You wanted to see what crazy caper Nancy got into.  Then, like most of the shows I watch, it got a bit ridiculous.  But, still so so good.

The Mindy Project - I have a girl crush on Mindy Kaling (go out and buy her book NOW) so when I saw she was getting her own show, I was super excited.  It did not disappoint.  She is very relateable and this show is just too funny.

The New Girl - Have you all seen this show?  It's awesome.  It keeps getting better and better.  Jess and Nick's relationship is so cute to watch.  And who doesn't love Schmidt?  Also, I want a douche bag jar for real life.

The Bachelor/The Bachelorette - I have a group of girls that get together to watch this every season.  It has slowly gotten worse and worse, and yet we still gather to watch.  We always say each season is our last, and yet here we are watching Des's "journey" to "love"...

I told you I watch a lot of TV....  But, I'm definitely open to any suggestions!  What shows am I missing?!

Facts

I was perusing Pinterest the other day and came across a pin of "30 things my kids need to know about me".  Well, my kid is 3 months old so the only thing he needs to know about me is if I'm going to feed him on time.  And maybe if I'm going to change his diaper.  He's needs are small for now.  Howerver, around that same time I was also trying to come up with clever blog ideas to avoid this blog becoming a baby-centric blog.  So, this sounded perfect!  That's 30 whole prompts that I wouldn't have thought of otherwise.  Woo hoo!

So, today's prompt is 20 random facts about me.  Here we go...

1.  My favorite colors are pink and grey
2.  I constantly come up with these grand plans of things I want to do, and rarely follow through
3.  I actually follow through on important stuff
4.  I met my husband online when I was 24
5.  My shoe size used to be 8 or 8.5, but my feet got bigger while I was knocked up and am now closer to a size 9
6.  On the up side, my boobs also got bigger!
7.  I've lived in my house for almost 3 years which is the longest I've ever lived anywhere since I moved out of my parent's house
8.  I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up
9.  I'm not sure if I want to have more kids.  I just love my little nugget too much to share that love!
10.  My dog Finn is named after "McVet" Finn from Grey's Anatomy years ago
11.  My dog Hippo is named from the Christmas song "I Want a Hippopatamus for Christmas" (also, if you have never heard that song, look into it!)
12.  I have seen every episode of Sex and the City countless times and can almost quote all of every episode
13.  My favorite movie is Hope Floats
14.  I have awful taste in music
15.  I was a cheerleader in high school and have zero rythm
16.  I'm a horrible speller and I hate that Blogger doesn't underline stuff when it's misspelled like Word does
17.  I feel like I'm constantly going to start a diet next Monday
18.  I never start my diet the following Monday
19.  There is nothing better to me than a weekend that I don't ever have to get out of my yoga pants
20.  My yoga pants have never been to yoga

Whew, talk about random!  I was all over the place there!

Stay tuned for the next prompt of 3 legit fears I have....

On being "formerly infertile"

Hey hey, it turned out to be a two post day after all.

As you all know, the hubs and I suffered from infertility before we became pregnant.  Even though we're now parents to the cutest boy that has ever lived, I still compeltely consider myself to be infertile.  On two seperate occations this week I've seen discussions of going from infertile to fertile.    My internet pal Aly wrote a great post today about the same topic.  I also came across an article via resolve.org Twitter about becoming fertile after dealing with infertility.  But, for me, I don't know that I will ever be able to make that jump.

Infertility changed me to my core.  It was the hardest thing that I have ever been through and I really feel that it changed me as a person.  It made me realize that with patience and determination, I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I ever realized.  However, along with the positive, it also changed me in some negative ways too.  It will forever be hard for me to hear a pregnancy announcement.  I will forever feel a stab of jealousy when someone gets pregnant without a thought or an ounce of effort.  I will always be angry when someone takes this amazing gift for granted (myself included as I was not above bitching about the negative aspects of pregnancy).  I wish it were different, but, at least for now, it's not.  We tried so hard and so long and spent so much money, that I feel I will always have that initial reaction to an announcement.

A good friend of mine recently told me she was pregnant.  She had unprotected sex one time with her husband.  One time.  That was all it took. And while I'm very excited for her, it still took me a moment to get there.  I hate this hardened piece of myself.  But, for now, it's there.  It's not all consuming like it once was.  But, I fear it will always be there.

Please don't get me wrong.  I know how unbelieveably blessed we are to have our little guy. And I fully and completely believe that we went through everything we did because HE was meant to be ours and was meant to be ours in the exact way and time he became ours.  I would go throught it all a million more times to have my son.  I also believe that going through all that will make me a better mother.  Not that other mothers who got pregnant easily are bad, not at all.  All mothers are the best they can be. (Girl power and all that!)  But, I think that I am always a little more cognisant of how lucky I am to be a mother and I try not to take that fact for granted.

And, since you guys put up with two rather heavy wordy posts today, here's a picture of said cutest boy that ever lived!

On being a pseudo single mom...

Some notes before I dive in:

1. this may be a double post kind of day.  Who knows, you all may get lucky!

2.  I'm in an awful mood and this post kind of is the product of said awful mood.  Awesome.

So, as I've mentioned, the hubs started a new job right around the time the nugget was born.  In fact his last day at his previous job was the day I went into the hospital to be induced.  When he interviewed for the new job, we knew it would involve some travel.  That was a big concern of mine, what with a new baby on the way.  He was told it'd be like 4 or 5 days a month.  That seemed doable.  Well, fast forward and it's turning out to be a lot more.  For instance, he left on Saturday and won't be home until this Sunday.  Well, barring the few hours he was home on Monday.  He loves his job, so I hate to complain too much.  He hasn't had a job he's loved like this in all the time I've known him.  And he's good at it.  But, it's so hard on me.

We have a great schedule when he's here.  I get the baby out of bed and change him and grab a few quick cuddles.  Then B takes over for the morning.  I then pick up the baby from daycare on my way home from work and we tag team him all evening.  Then, I do bed and bath b/c I just love that time and I don't want to share.  But, with B gone the whole schedule gets messed up and all the responsiblity falls on me.  I know that I signed up for this when I became a parent.  However, that doesn't mean that I can't still get frustrated by it.

Here's where the whining comes in.  B's job is the regional rep for a brewery.  Which means he sells beer and spirits for a living and could almost be referred to as a professional drinker.  He's very passionate about beer and is super knowledgeable about it.  Where some people can pick out what grape is used in wine, he can pick out what hop is used in a beer.  However, when he's off traveling for work, that often involves nights out at bars and what not.  In fact, his upcoming trip includes camping and white water rafting.  So, while I'm at home taking care of the baby and the dogs, he's out having fun in the name of "work". That's the frustrating part.  I know it's selfish, but it would be a little easier to swallow if here were holed up in a hotel room or something.  But, not only is he gone, but he's having a great time in the process while I'm holed up at home taking care of a baby.  I know that being gone from us isn't a walk in the park for him.  He misses us when he's gone and I know it can't be easy being away so frequently.  But, still, it sucks for me.  And, since this is my blog, I get to make it all about me!

The reason for the pissy mood and  venty post is b/c this morning the shit hit the fan.  While I was getting H up and chaning him, one of our dogs peed in our bed.  Yes, peed.  And we have a huge king size mattress that I can't move on my own.  ANd, since our dogs are spoiled, they like to lay near the pillows when we're not in bed, meaning the pee spot is right near where I'd lay my head.  So, now I have to either sleep on the couch or in the guest room for the next several nights while B is still gone.  So, after I get that cleaned up, the baby proceedes to spit up all over his lap and mine. We're both already dressed for the day.  What do I do?  Just wipe us both down with a wet rag and hope that I don't spend my day at work reeking of spit up.  Then, after the spit up incident, he proceeds to cry for the next15 minutes while I try to finish getting everything ready to go.  Then, our older dog, who is blind and senile and afraid of life, decides that "kennel up" must sound like "go lay on your bed".  So, while quickly losing my shit, I'm trying to wrangle a scared dog out of the corner with my foot since I'm terrified to pick him up b/c he's been known to bite when freaked out.  So, yeah, it's been a rough morning.  Days like this make me not care how much B loves his job and how good he is at it.  It makes me just want to pitch a fit and guilt him into taking a regular 9 to 5 desk job.  But, I won't. Ugh.

Ok, end rant.  Maybe.

3 Months

This picture sums him up right now - hands in mouth, feet kicking

 Oh my sweet little nugget boy, how are you already 3 months old?!  Where have the last 13 weeks gone?

My peditrician's office only does well baby visits when it's time for shots, so I don't know how much he weighs or how long he is this month.  But, I can definitely tell he's growing!

Just look at the difference!

His little personality is really starting to show through.  He smiles a lot and is getting to be pretty easy going.  I'm SO glad to see this.  I was really starting to think I have a fussy kid.  But, he's starting to get his act together and be a happy smiley little dude.



Teeny little glimpse of a smile...



Big huge smiles!



Things he loves:

Being outside.  He could seriously be screaming bloody murder and all we have to do is step out on the porch and he quiets right down.  He did NOT get this trait from his mama...

Baths.  I could spend all day with this kid during bath time.  He loves it.  He's discovering his feet and legs and just splashes them all around.  So stinking cute!

The car.  He is almost always perfectly content in the car.  Last week on the way home from the sitter, I caught him grinning at his reflection in the mirror we have above his carseat.  My heart melted!

Snuggles.  He loves to snuggle and nap on us.  I'm trying to break him of this for the sake of the sitter, but he's just so dang snuggly that I usually end up giving in.  Hey, it's my rule so I can break it!

Things he hates:

Burping.  For some reason in the past 2 weeks or so, he has decided that he hates burping and will scream and arch his back while we try to burp him.  I've started putting his paci in his mouth and that usually works.

Lotioning up after a bath.  I swear, you'd think I was rubbing  hot acid on him rather than yummy smelling lotion!

Other things of note:

He rolled over for the first time yesterday!!! I was in his room putting away hand me downs from our trip...a month ago... and he was getting fussy in his bouncy chair, so I put him on the floor for tummy time.  He pushed himself up and just rolled right over!  He's always been really good at holding his head up and pushing up during tummy time.  He even rolled over a few times at like 3 weeks.  But this was the real thing!

Tummy Time champ!



The sleep thing is still going well.  Naps are done in the crib when he's at home.  At night he goes right down.  He has kept up the spit the paci out game.  But, last night, I tried giving him a bed time bottle.  We usually feed him 5 oz every 3 hours, with his last one being at like 6:30 or so.  Since bed time is 8, I usually just put him to bed.  But, twice this past weekend I heard about the bed time bottle, so I thought I'd try my hand at it and gave him 2 oz.  Slept like a champ!  Only one round of spit the paci and that was at 5:45 so I was already awake!

To my sweet boy:

I love you so much that I can't even stand it.  Sometimes I just look at you and get tears in my eyes because I just can't believe that you're mine.  You are worth every single thing we went through to get to you.

I love you-

Mama



Father's Day Weekend at the Lake

We are fortunate that B's parents have a lake house about an hour and a half from our house.  We take advantage of it as often as we can.  I was honestly a little apprehensive about how often we'd be able to go this summer with such a teeny little human.  But, it went really well.

We woke up on Saturday morning, fed the nugget, and hit the road.  Our best friends were meeting us up there.  This was the first time that we drove anywhere with the baby in the back seat with the dogs.  Thankfully it was a success!  Aside from trying to steal Sophie the Giraffe away from him when I was squeeking it at him (so, kind of my fault), they rarely even bothered him.

Once we got there and unloaded the cars (side note: um, holy crap, traveling with an infant is NO JOKE.  We weren't even gone 48 hours and had 3 bags and the pack n play.  THREE BAGS FOR OVERNIGHT!), we got settled and the baby fed again, and then we went down and hung out on the dock.  We had a teeny little baby pool for the baby to chill out in.  At first he didn't like it, but once it got heated by the sun a bit more, he really enjoyed himself.  He did not, however, enjoy the boat ride.  I'm not sure what it was about it, but he screamed every time the boat was in motion.  Poor little boo boo.

Hanging at the pool with his daddy

I was a little worried how the whole nap thing would go.  We're just now getting a handle on actual naps.  And I was afraid that being out of town and not really on a set schedule would mean disaster.  But, he was a champ.  He napped pretty decently all weekend.  And, once on the dock, he fell asleep in my arms.  Since I'm trying to nix that as much as humanly possible, we just made him a little pallate on a table (we were right there the whole entire time and he doesn't roll yet).  I laid him down and he slept for 45 minutes.  Napping win!  Shortly after this nap was over, he smiled the biggest smile when he saw me.  It was the first time he's smiled when recognizing me.  B and I both got a little misty eyed.

Yesterday, we celebrated B's first Father's Day.  We were awakened by a sweet little smiling baby.  He was all smiles for a good while first thing.  I think we even heard the beginnings of a laugh!!!  So, naturally, now we're on LaughWatch2013.  I made everyone breakfast.  If you know me, you know that this is almost laughable.  However, I made the world's easiest breakfast ever (crescent rolls, cream cheese, sausage, that's it!) , so it was really no big deal.  Then we just sort of hung out and were lazy all day.  The boys watched the US Open and the first game of the College World Series (Go Wolfpack!). 

We refer to B as Papa, so this was a little surprise for the day

Melts my heart



All in all it was a great weekend! 

Oh, and also, this is the most hilarious pic of the baby to date...

Channeling Burt Reynolds, circa 1985

5 on Friday

 

 

 

So, I'm doin a new 5 on Friday type of posting.  I did a few when I first started, but this one links to other bloggers.  I think.  I may have done it wrong.  I'm not exactly what you'd call tech savvy.  Here are the five highlights of the week.  Hooray!

 

1. We're taking the nugget on his first trip to the lake this weekend.  B's parents have a lake house about an hour and a half away, so we're taking a little weekend getaway with the bambino and two friends.

 

2. We started with our new babysitter yesterday.  Already we love her.  She sent pictures throughout the day and was very involved with him.  She'd ask questions to make sure everything went smoothly for her.  Day one and we already like her much better than the other person.

3.  Sleep is still going really well!  He has decided to pick back up his game of spit the paci out in the morning.  But, the good part about him being further away is that B now has to participate in the game.  Score one for mommy!

4. This picture of my sweet boys' feet just makes my heart smile.  B gets to celebrate his first Father's Day this weekend.  I'll come back on Monday with a post about all that.

5.  We had some great weather this week after a lot of rain.  We were able to sit on our back deck and grill out. We had steak, asparagus, and rosemary grilled potatoes.  We have a picture of it, but I look like Jabba the Hut, so I will refrain from putting it on the internet...

Hope you all have a great weekend!!

 

On Social Media

I spent a good chunk of my day yesterday messing around with this here blog trying to change the look of it.  I also decided to add some social media links to the side bar.  Yes, I added my twitter link although I rarely rarely tweet.  Check me out!

I was going to add my Instagram feed as well.  But, in order to do that you have to make your profile public.  My IG feed is jam packed with pics of my little boo boo.  I'm just not sure how I feel about anyone and everyone being able to access those pics.  Yes, I know this is a public blog, and the same rule should apply here.  However, very few people actually read this little piece of the internet.  So, I'm ok sharing with you, my virtual pals.  So, in that vein, I thought I'd just share my IG handle here and if you're interested in follwing me, send me a request.  I'll be sure to add you!  You know, if I know who you are :)  I'm candacerwatts on IG.  Come visit!

And, since I prefer blog posts with pictures, here's a shot of some hydrangeas from our garden.  It's been raining like crazy here in NC for the better part of a week, so our hydrangea bush has gone bananas.  The blooms are mostly blue this year, which is not my favorite.  So, what did I do?  I clipped all the purpley pinkey ones for the house!

Sleeeeeeep

Let's talk about sleep, shall we?  Let me start off by saying that I struck the jack pot and my little dude has always been a good sleeper (knock on wood).  When we were trying to breast feed, I had to wake him up to feed him.  He started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. 

Well, last night, we finally attempted to let him sleep in his own crib in his room and it was a success!!  I put him down at like 8:30 and he slept until a little after 6.  And I think that was only b/c he heard me yelling at B about the toilet overflowing.  Or perhaps because it was almost 10 hours and that little nugget was starving.  I'll go with the former in hopes of longer stretches (this momma likes her sleep!).

So, I thought I'd pass along some tips of what worked for us and what I'm crediting one night's success to.  Yes, after only one 11 week old child and 1 night of good sleep, I am an expert. 

We started him off in the Rock N Play sleeper.  This thing is ah-mazing.  It's inclined and all snug, so the little nugget felt very secure in there.  We also used a wearable swaddle blanket.  We initially started out with a swaddle pod, but he always ended up getting his crazy arms out of it by the morning, so we figured he didn't like to be swaddled.  We actually went several weeks without anything and he did ok.  But, once we did the swaddle blanket, we were really in business.  At about 7 weeks, we decided to start transitioning him to his pack n play to begin the transition to his crib in his room.  This would allow him to get used to an open space while still being in our room.  Since he was sleeping through the night pretty good, we figured it was a good time.  We kind of stalled out at this point.  He got the chicken pox so we put him back in the rock n play so he'd be snuggly and comforted.  Then, he had some nights when we were figuring out the formula thing where he'd spit up in the middle of the night and make these god awful choking noises and scare us to death.  So, we put him back in the rock n play since it's at an incline.  He also would play this super fun game where starting at about 3 or 4 am, he'd spit out his paci and fuss and cry until I put it back in.  I was hoping he'd quit this before we put him upstairs.  The only reason for this is because his room is upstairs and ours is down and I'm far too lazy to walk up and down the stairs every 20 minutes to put the dang paci back in his mouth.

I am in a local mom's group on Facebook and a mom had asked for tips on how to transition her baby who is about the same age as H.  One tip I read was to start doing the bedtime routine in their room so they'd be used to it.  This made total sense.  He's rarely in his room.  In fact, the only time he ever was was when I was lotioning him up after his bath.  And, he hates that part.  So, the only association he had with that room was a negative one!  So, for a few nights, I'd do the routine in his room.  I'd put his jammies on in there, give him his bottle, read him a book, and rock him till he was sleepy but not asleep. Then we'd go downstairs to our room and put him in his pack n play.  I'd dim the lights (well, only turn on the lamp) and play some soft music (the Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star Pandora station.  Look into it.  Last night I heard a lullaby version of Hey Ya.  Amazing).  He seemed to really respond to this routine.



Clearly he liked it.  He was falling asleep and grinning like crazy


Then, this past weekend, I had a realization.  When we put him to bed in our room at like 8 or so, he'd sleep so soundly.  It was when we came in to sleep that he started to stir and play his super fun game.  So, I thought why not try to see how he'd do in a room by himself.  Maybe it was us that was making him sleep less soundly.  I also realized that while he'd been in his room he'd never even napped in his crib.  So, I started letting him nap in there so he'd get used to it.  Once I felt confident in this, I decided to give it a try last night.  Bam - SUCCESS!


Ignore the apprehensive face - he liked it!

I went into it hoping it'd work, but prepared for it to not. Hopefully he will keep it up! 

Some notes - I feel the swaddle thing is clutch here.  It keeps his super crazy arms contained.  And the giraffe crotch you notice behind him belongs to the gentle sounds giraffe which has an awesome white noise setting that he responds to really well.

2 month stuff

My sweet boy is now 2 weeks old!  Well, actually, he's more than that, but whatever....
I ordered some adorable month by month stickers to take a picture monthly to see how much he's grown.  My friend Ashley inspired us to take his picture in the same spot next to something each month to see the difference.  Her little nugget is younger than mine, so we didn't get the inspiration until before the 2 month shot.  Eh well.  Here he is at 2 months.  He's so big!



So dapper!

 And, for comparison's sake - here's a little side by side action for months 1 and 2...

Such a difference!

We had his two month check up yesterday.  He is 11 lbs 8 oz and 23 3/4 inches long.  He's in the 37% of weight and 73% of height.  Long and lean my little one!  B was initially concerned that it was just 37%, but seeing as how he was only in the 12% at 2 weeks, I was excited!  The NP we saw said he was looking great.  She was super impressed at how well he holds his head up and is able to push up.  So strong!  Then, he had his vaccines.  Now, I know there are all sorts of debates out there surrounding vaccinating your kid.  I trust my peditrician's office and know they have the best interest of my son at heart.  So, whatever they say is what I'll do.  My little guy was such a trooper!  He cried when they stuck him but after that he was totally fine.  He was even asleep in his carseat before we even made it to the car.  Luckily for the babysitter, he slept all day long.

Which, brings me to my next topic.  We got fired from daycare.  After 9 days.  This may be some sort of record!  She claims that he cries all day every day and that her neighbors complain.  I think it's a her issue.  He's usually super sweet for us in the morning and evening.  She has her own 4 month old and her own toddler.  So, I honestly think she just bit off more than she can chew.  Now we're scrambling to find another sitter ASAP.  Thankfully B's job is flexible and his mom lives nearby.  So, next week they're splitting time to keep him.  After that it's a bit of a crap shoot.  I'm sure we will find someone we love and who loves him.

Our first long road trip was a success!  I got off work a little early so we were able to hit the road about 2 hours ahead of schedule.  We fed him a little before we left and he slept almost the whole time.  He woke up once to eat and once because he had a major poop situation.  Toward the end he got a little fussy, but poor guy had been in his seat the whole time.  He just wanted to be out.  The ride home was pretty much the same.  Minus the poop situation, thank goodness! 

The trip was a great time.  He got to meet my two BFF's, his Aunt KK and his Aunt Jess.  He got lots of snuggle time in with his aunts and uncle and grandparents.  As always it went by way to fast. 

His skeptical faces crack me up!

He seems to be a little under the weather today, but hopefully he'll feel better soon.  We have a big weekend!

8 Weeks!

So, yeah, about the 6 weeks that have passed sine I last blogged...my bad!  But, I have just been soaking up each and every minute I possibly can with my sweet little boo boo.
Weeks 3-4 were hard.  B went to Michigan to train for his new job.  This consisted of him tasting beers and booze.  Tough stuff.  You know what's not fun for a new mom of a baby who's only a few weeks old?  Getting texts of your hubby drinking all day for 2 weeks.  I wanted to stab him in the eyeball.  In the most loving way possible, of course.  But, all in all, we made it through.  And B loves the new job, so it was all worth it.  During that time, we made the decision to quit breastfeeding.  Once I started pumping exclusively and bottle feeding, things got rough.  My plan was to feed, then pump for the next feeding while el bambino chilled in his swing.  Well, he had others plans. Those mostly consisted of spitting up profusely and crying his eyes out for a good hour or so.  Not fun for the momma.  After about a week of this, I called the peditrician.  She said to switch my nightly formula feedings to sensitive formula.  I did that and it was like a whole new kid.  So, we did that for a day.  The next day I switched back to breast milk.  The beast was back.  After a tearful conversation with B, we made the decision to just go to formula.  I had gotten him to his original due date on breast milk, it was something.  I still felt very bad and defeated and like a failure.  But, this decision was in the best interest of my kiddo and me, and that's the best I can do.
At week 3 and a half, my sister and her boyfriend came by to pick me and boo boo up and take us to Myrtle Beach for our brother's wedding.  It was amazing.  I had unlimited help, plus my family got to meet my sweet boy. And, I got to see my brother marry the love of his life.  It was amazing.

Aren't we adorable in our matching outfits!

The following weekend, B had a work thing in DC, so the nugget and I tagged along.  We spent Saturday walking the National Mall and changing diapers on any national point of interest we could.  We changed a diaper at the Capitol Building, along the reflecting pool, and at the Natural History Museum.  Good times my friends, good times. 

The next few weeks were spent snuggling as much as I could.  My maternity leave was ending soon and I was one sad momma.  No part of me was ready or wanted to go back to work. 

Lazy Sunday Snuggles

The first day was hard.  I sobbed as I left him.  But, we have a great in home daycare lady to watch him.  We are very confident that he is in great hands.  But, they're not my hands, so that makes me sad.  But, I know that going to work is for the betterment of my little family.  It allows us to do certain things like eat and pay the mortgage.  You know, the little things.  But, it's gotten progressively easier. 

Last weekend was my first Mother's Day.  I can't explain how excited I was to finally be able to celebrate this holiday.  Last year, the weekend Mother's Day fell on was the weekend we found out or first round of fertility meds failed.  It's amazing what a difference a year can make.  Thank you, my sweet Holt, for making me a mommy.  I know with every fiber of my being that you were meant to be my son and I was meant to be your mommy.

My Mother's Day gift

We spent the day relaxing and then went to B's aunt's house to celebrate with the other mothers in the family. It was a great day.

Can you stand the cuteness?

I certainly can't!

At 7 weeks, we discovered that the poor little nugget has chicken pox!  B had shingles a few weeks ago, and apparently passed it along to the boy.  Poor little baby!  Luckily he doesn't seem to be bothered by them too bad. He's just a little clingier than usual.  But, I can't say that I mind the extra snuggles!

Loving his oatmeal bath

And, now we're at week 8!  Well, tomorrow.  I can't believe my sweet boy is going to be 2 months old.  It has flown by!  Next week, we're attempting a road trip to TN to visit my family for Memorial Day.  I'll check back in to report how it went driving 9 hours with a 9 week old!

To my sweet boy:
I love you more and more each day.  I had no idea my heart could hold this much love.  You are getting quite the little personality.  You love to be read to before bed.  But, then, you just hang out in your bed wide awake!  You love your carseat and going for a car ride.  You look around with those big wide eyes taking in the world around you.  You know my voice and your daddy's and will look our direction when we talk to you.  You're a great eater, goig from perfectly fine to STARVING in about 2.5 seconds flat.  That's always fun!  You love for us to sing you songs and talk to you.  You amaze us every day.

2 weeks!

Sweet baby H is now 16 days old.  The past 2 weeks have been quite the learning experience.  We have had feeding issues since basically the beginning.  He wouldn't latch at the hospital despite countless meetings with the lactation consultants.  At his check up the day after we got home, he had lost too much weight.  He weighed 7 lbs 8 oz at birth and 3 days later was down to 6 lbs 10 oz.  The weight loss was concerning enough, but the doctor also noticed he was a bit yellow, so we had to go get blood drawn to check his bilirubin levels.  Those were elevated.  So, for the next 4 days we had to go get blood drawn every day.  By 6 days old, the levels went down enough to no longer be a concern.  The eating, however, still was.  Due to the weight loss, we had to supplient with formula while waiting for my milk to come in.  When it finally did come in, I began pumping and bottle feeding.  Then, in a last ditch effort to actually nurse, I called in a friend who is a lactation consultant and she introduced me to the nipple shield.  That thing was a game changer.  He latched on to that with no issue what so ever. He was eating every 3 hours during the day and every 4 at night.  It was glorious.  Or so I thought.  At his 2 week check up, we discovered he was only gaining the minimum amount of weight (half an ounce).  So, he was still not up to his birth weight, which is what they want by 2 weeks.  So, it was time yet again to reevaluate his eating/feeding habits.  I started back to the pumping and bottle feeding.  We were giving him 3 oz every 3 hours.  However, because he apparently wasn't eating enough at the breast, my supply must have slowed up a bit.  So, now we're having to supplement a bit with formula.  But, if it means my little guy is gaining weight, then I'll do what I have to do.  The good news is that he is now up to 7 lbs 10 oz!!!!  Past his birth weight!  So, we're going to keep doing exactly what we're doing.  And, if for some reason the boobie milk dries up, I've made my peace with formula.  In the end, all that matters is that he gets the nourishment he needs.

*Disclaimer - I'm doing things to help my milk supply.  Mothers milk tea daily.  A daily beer.  Pumping with every feeding during the day.

He's here!!!

He's here! He's really here!
At my 36 week appointment, Dr. T checked to see if I was dilated at all.  I wasn't.  It was decided that I would be admitted the following night to get the dilation process started.  Holy crap this is real.  Luckily having so much notice my mom was able to get into town, so we spent the next day getting last minute baby stuff.  And, of course, getting a pedicure.  Hahaha
Mom, B, and I met my aunt, uncle and cousin out for dinner.  Then, B and I headed to the hospital. It was officially go time.
Once we got in and settled, a nurse came in and put in my IV lock.  That hurt, let me tell you.  I normally have great veins and it's never an issue.  This chick had a hell of a time getting my vein.  No bueno.  Then, it was time for Dr. T to insert the pill to dilate me.  It was in a tube or something so it could be removed the next morning.  She couldn't use any jelly or anything, so that also hurt like a bitch.  Then, they didn't get enough blood, so they had to draw more blood and for some reason it stopped flowing.  Needless to say, it was a rough start.  I was offered an Ambien to sleep and stupidly declined.  Word to the wise, if you're being induced and are offered and Ambien - TAKE IT!!!!!!  I was wide awake at around 2 am.  This was not good.  I knew the next day would be a loooong day and I'd need my energy.  Then, around 3:30, the lady in the room next to me had her baby, with no meds.  And we heard the whole darn thing.  That is NOT what you want to hear the night before you have a baby!!!
The next morning, Dr. T arrived around 9:20ish.  She checked me and I was dilated to 2.  I was already having some inconsistent contractions.  She went ahead and broke my water at 9:40 am.  It shockingly did not hurt.  I was pleasantly surprised.  However, I had just taken a shower so I could have done without the ick factor.  They started my pitocin shortly there after.  Mom arrived along with my contractions.  They hurt, but I was able to breathe through them.  I had made it perfectly clear that I wanted an epidural as soon as humanly possible.  They had to make sure I had a litre of fluid in me before they could order it, but they were really on top of it and made sure that I got it as soon as I could.  Around noon or so, the anesthesiologist came in.  Bless him, he tried really hard to put that bad boy in the first try.  Let me tell you, leaning over my huge belly, having contractions, and squishing my already squished lungs makes it pretty darn hard to bend over the right way.  So, after about 6 attempts, he had me lay on my side.  He got it the first try.  I will say this, it didn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would.  I was terrified of the epi.  They numb it up with lidocaine first.  The actual epi just feels like a pop.  I was not a fan, however, of the catheter they put in.  It kept making me feel like I had to pee sooooo bad!
Once that was in, I was able to relax.  Mom and B were in there with me all day.  B's parents alternated between the two coming in.  I was only allowed 2 people other than B in the room.  My contracts slowed down after the epi, which can happen.  The upped the pitocin and we waited.  Dr. T is amazing and said I was able to have light snacks.  So, at one point I had some Italian ice.  It was delish.  I napped off and on for the afternoon.  Then, around 3:30 or 4 I woke up in a blind panic.  I couldn't feel my legs (duh, I had an epi!), and it was completely freaking me out.  I'm super claustrophobic and not being able to move them was awful in the moment.  My mom realized that there was a good chance that I was in transition.  She called the nurse in who said they hadn't planned on checking me again till 5 (the last check I was only at a 4).  I was a 9 and a half.  I was in transition.  She called in Dr. T.  Meanwhile, I was going on and on about how the baby was coming out of my butt.  That's exactly what it felt like!  Dr. T got there and checked me.  She just had to look and could already see the head! She threw on some scrubs and it was go time!  My mom and MIL left and it was time to push!
B held a leg and the nurse held the other.  I pushed for about an hour and 20 minutes.  Again, I was surprised at how much less it hurt than I thought it would.  Dr. T watched my contractions on the monitor and told me when to push.  She said I was a champion pusher.  Having her give me positive feedback was what I needed to keep going.
At 5:57 Hold Fairfield Watts II made his debut.  He weighed 7 lbs 8 oz and was 20.5 inches long with a head full of dark brown hair.  We are completely and totally head over heels in love with this little guy.